去美國留學(xué)，文書是一份你送給招生官的“情書”，而你能夠通過申請往往也會是只因為這一紙“情書”，但是你的文書開頭千萬不要這樣寫，不然你將被刷掉。

 

 

一、重復(fù)簡歷型

I earned my Bachelor of Science deGREe in … Sciences with a specialization in … in 2002 at … university

點評：不要去重復(fù)簡歷中的東西，這在很多學(xué)校的PS要求中明確提到，個人陳述的寫作要具體到事件上，事件解決上，而不要單純重復(fù)已有的內(nèi)容。

二、學(xué)校介紹型

I am an undergraduate in…University , the largest university anda cradle of scientific and technological talents in China.

點評：該同學(xué)的PS開頭等于是一個申請學(xué)校的簡介，這好像是在幫助學(xué)校做宣傳，或表達(dá)你有多了解該學(xué)校，而不是寫個人陳述了。這是沒有意義的開頭，白白浪費了字?jǐn)?shù)，最容易被秒拒掉。

三、抄襲句式型

As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.

點評：Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學(xué)到的，很多同學(xué)在用。但你要知道，老外最恨抄襲，最喜原創(chuàng)，所以利害關(guān)系大家想想吧。

四、救世主型

I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor, …

點評：一副救世主的形象，小時候就受富蘭克林的影響，立志改變世界。PS的寫作一定要個人化具體化，別吹牛，甚至帶著一種霸權(quán)主義思維。

五、猶抱琵琶型

Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.

點評：重點放在自己要做重大決定上了，人生的轉(zhuǎn)折點，然后來上句所謂名言警句，這是浪費字?jǐn)?shù)。在有限的字?jǐn)?shù)里，同學(xué)們應(yīng)該學(xué)會直接，并且抓住重點，突出自己最有優(yōu)勢的方面，最有特色的方面。

六、憶童年型

“Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't-”“Why the leaves turn red in autumn”How many stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood,I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle.

點評：上來就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠(yuǎn)大抱負(fù)，who cares？個人陳述字?jǐn)?shù)有限，卻用這么多話描述童年，沒有任何意義。學(xué)校想知道你如何看待未來，而不是如何度過過去。

以上這些僅供各位同學(xué)們參考，積累一些經(jīng)驗，對于文書的寫作大家還是要多多范文，多總結(jié)經(jīng)驗，不要老是埋頭自己寫。大家若還有其他問題，歡迎和我們聯(lián)系。